In earlier American rural life, communities raised barns because many hands were required. These events occured in a social framework with a good deal of interdependence. Members of rural communities often shared family bonds going back generations. They traded with each other, worshipped with each other and celebrated with each other. Barn raisings were an integral part of life and socializing.

In our modern American life, communities don't mean nearly as much as they did back then. It is our family's goal to bring a sense of community back to our lives and those lives that touch ours.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Off My Chest

Tonight as I was thinking about the recent c-section birth of Iris, I realized I was feeling a bit robbed. I do not feel robbed by the fact that my births were all via c-section. I got over that a long time ago. I feel robbed by other women and their snap decision that I am a lesser woman. Certainly not by the women in my life. If you are a part of my life than you are because I love you and you must love me. You must, otherwise I don't know how you can tolerate me! At any rate, I can't tell you how many times I have had other women look down their noses at me because of the way my children enter this world. I even had a woman tell me she was "sorry" when she heard Iris was going to be born via c-section. Sorry?! Sorry that I have four beautiful, intelligent, HEALTHY children who all just happened to need to come a way that is different than most? I'm not sorry. In this world there are so many labels that we put upon ourselves. I view life as a smorgasbord of choices where each individual gets to pick and choose the ways of life that make her/him comfortable and happy. Sometimes these choices seem to conflict with each other. Sometimes they flow seamlessly together. But what boggles my mind is when individuals try so hard, so desperately, to remove themselves from the boxes of mainstream America only to force themselves into boxes that are just as small. The woman who was so sorry for the way Iris was arriving into this world sends her son to public school. Should I say "I'm so sorry" to her? I wouldn't because I don't know her situation any more than she knows mine. So ladies, let's just try to support each other in our decisions, whether we have control over them or not. Do not try to rob me of my experience in having babies. I am no less a woman because of how my children were born any more than my children are less because of it. Have you met my children? Because they are pretty darn awesome.


  1. It's true I hope to raise my kids like you do.

  2. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself. And thank you for making hard choices and helping to make those children so awesome.

  3. There are advantages to having a C section!!
    Like not having the incontinence problems in later life that you do when you have multiple vaginal births!!!! That, is a big one!!! LOL

  4. I remember how hard & long you tried to deliver Spencer before you even knew you couldn't have vaginal births! You were not gonna give up! You are a true warrior!